MAY 2009 – REPUBLISHING “JO-HA, THE SMOKING ARAB”, BY DAWN NARET’, PITTSBURGH, PA – ALSO POSTED HERE IS “JEWISH HUMOR”
“DNRELIGION” IS A NEVER ENDING ATTEMPT, OF MY 14 BLOG SITES………….TO SHARE MY VIEWS AND INFORMATION WITH THE PUBLIC. I HAVE BEEN A POLITICAL PRISONER AS SUCH, FOR MANY YEARS.
I HAVE FAILING HEALTH, AS A RESULT OF THEIR ABUSE AND WILL NOT CEASE IN THESE COMMUNICATING EFFORTS OF EXPOSING THE EVILS AND SHARING THE LOVE THAT THEY SEEK TO BLOCK.
(“JO-HA” WAS MISSING! YAWN…….ALL 5 OF MY WORDPRESS.COM SITES ARE STILL BEING SABOTAGED……..BUT I STILL COME BACK AND REPAIR AND COLLECT EVIDENCE TO HAVE THEM PROSECUTED A.S.A.P. ! )”JO-HA THE SMOKING ARAB”, BY DAWN NARET’ PUBLISHED 2007
Now JO-HA, ya see, is a mythical arab man who wandered around old Arabia, in the days when they weren’t all gazillionaires, of course.
Well, Jo-Ha was a poor man, but was always lookin fa ways ta have stuff anyway, as best he could. Sometimes it took a little more thought ta ‘complish.
Now, Jo-Ha was a smokin arab, I hear they used ta call him “Smokin Jo-Ha”, when he was goin ta college and played football in the U. S. of A…..( that’s the “UNITED SANDS OF ARABIA, I think…)whadda ya mean…who’s “JOE NAMETH”?…OK,…so he was not the one who played football…bite me !!!
Anyways, Jo-Ha was a smokin man and ended up develippin a case o’the “SECOND HAND TERRETS LISP”. That comes from bittin yer tongue too much, because of the nasty non-smokers, who kept trying ta tell him that smokin was harram (forbidden) in Islam. He would bite right through his tongue, tryin ta not let the uncontrollable “screamin nasties”, at the nasty non-smokers, cum ayellin out of his Holy Muslim Mouth. Ended up, he got “Second-Hand injury” to his tongue, and he would lisp some words, so bad, ya couldn’t bearly unnerstand a word he was a sayin.
One day he was wantin some soup. He dint have any meat, soos he went to the neighbor and asked if he could spare a bone. The neighbor said “Of course, my brother, help yourself in the storage room”.
Well, Jo-ha went inta that storage room and picked out a whole half a side o’ lamb. He said “Bithmillah !” ta bless the meat, like the jews do with kosher, and headed back ta’ commense ta makin some good arab soup. He was a good man an wanted ta thank his neighbor for the meat and so, he took him a bowl of the soup.
When he got there, the neighbor was stumpin mad and said,” I welcomed you to have the BONE you requested, where is my lamb ?” Jo-Ha said, “Oh Brother, Ith noth a coccoonth a thhumble gifth to requesth?” The neighbor looked puzzeled and said, “yes, but what does that have to do witn my missing lamb?”
“Wellth,” said Jo-Ha, “Ith noth a coccoonth the thame, as it wrapth around a butherfly, ath a bone is wrappthed around thinside the meath?”, “Well YES! I guess…”,exclaimed his neighbor, “but I offered you the bone…you’ll have to PAY for the meat!”
Jo-Ha pondered, and responded, “Buth my brother, You cannoth thplit the coccoonth unthil the butherfly comes out. So I goth the bone I requethed and we all thknow that “BUTHERFLIES ARE FREE”!!
“May Allah bleth you with much ajerth (gifts from God, for doin good deeds) forth thhelping me to thhelp you…!!”. The neighbor said,” WHAT-T-T, Help Me? What help did you give to me?” Then Jo-Ha said, “Wellth, you wereth (’bout a gazillion…)cryingth that you thad no meath and could noth have hadth a meal. Then I arrithed and gave you good thoup. Allah will bleth ME now, with ajerth ath well and we can bury the bone of dithention between uth, to receive many blethings for living by the “PEACE of THISLAM” !!
HANG IN THERE WITH ME I ALSO HAVE SOME JEWISH HUMOR, I THOUGHT WAS FUNNY AND DECIDED TO SHARE.
I AM MUSLIM, BUT MY HEART IS ECCUMENICAL WHEN IT COMES TO RELIGION.
HERE ARE MY SLIDE SHOWS:
“ANCIENT ANTIQUITIES” WAS INSPIRED BY THE BLOG SITE I CREATED TO PAY TRIBUTE TO “THE DECENDANTS OF THE ANCIENTS”, WHOM I CONSIDER TO BE THE PEOPLE OF THE MIDDLE EAST.
BUT THEN THOSE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MIGRATING ALL OVER THE WORLD FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, HAVE’T THEY ?
SO I SUPPOSE WE ALL HAVE SOME CONNECTION SOMEWHERE WITH THE BLOOD LINES OF THESE ANCIENT PEOPLES! AND WE MUST ALL WORK TO PRESERVE THEM AND ALL THERE ANCIENT LANDS.
IN CASE THERE IS A PROBLEM VIEWING “ANCIENT ANTIQUITIES”, CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW, AND VIEW IT FROM MY GALLERY;
LINK TO “ANCIENT ANTIQUITIES” – CLICK LINK, THEN CLICK “SLIDESHOW”
http://picasaweb.google.com/text.reply2dn/ANCIENTANTIQUITIESBYDAWNNARET1108?feat=directlink
SLIDE SHOW – “BISMILLAH” – ARABIAN SCRIPT ART – ALL SAY BISMILLAH (IN THE NAME OF GOD)
LINK TO “BISMILLAH”
http://picasaweb.google.com/text.reply2dn/BISMILLAHDAWNNARET?feat=directlink
MOST ALL OF MY SITES HAVE BEEN DESTROYED SEVERAL TIMES, BUT I DO NOT GIVE UP.
VIEW MY BLOGSPOT.COM SITES FOR NOW. I HAD THE TRESPASSERS THERE ALREADY TARRED AND FEATHERED !
JEWISH HUMOR:
“ZEN JUDAISM”
Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, though your blood and flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate and not stir until
you have attained full Enlightenment.
But first, a little nosh.
Accept misfortune as a blessing.
Do not wish for perfect health or life
without problems.
What would you talk about?
The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings.
Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens
to be Jewish?
In nature, there is no good or bad, better or worse.
The wind may blow or not.
The flowering branch grows long or short.
Do not judge or prefer.
Ask only, Is it good for the Jews?”
To Find the Buddha, look within.
Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten thousand
petals.
You might want to see a specialist.
WHILE JO-”JO-HA” IS ALSO VIEWABLE AT:
“CHAGRINNING.BLOGSPOT.COM”, http://www.chagrinning.blogspot.com
“GAMARA”
THE REFLECTED LIGHT
“GAMARA” MEANS “MOON” IN ARABIC.
IT NOT ONLY INDICATES A SINGLE PLANET, BUT
SPECIFIES THAT “MOON” IS THE SOLID ORB,
REVOLVING AROUND THE MAJOR ORB, AND HAS NO
LIGHT OF IT’S OWN, BUT “REFLECTS” THE LIGHT,
EMITTING FROM THE SOURCE.
HUMANS CAN IDENTIFY WITH THESE SPECIFICS,
AS A CREATION, OF THE SOURCE AND REVOLVING
AROUND THE SOURCE, AS IN OBEDIENCE AND
FOLLOWING GUIDANCE OF THE CREATOR, AND
EMITTING THE REFLECTION OF THE LIGHT OF THE
CREATOR, OR THE BRILLIANCE OF THE “HOLY
SPIRIT”. – DAWN NARET’ – “ALHAMDALLAH !” -
MEANS – “ALL PRAISE TO GOD, THE CREATOR OF
ALL THAT EXISTS, ON EARTH AND IN ALL OF THE
COSMOS”.
I PRAY, “INSHALLAH”, GOD WILLING, THAT ALL
WHO VISIT HERE, MAY BE TOUCHED BY THE
BEAUTY, THE HISTORY AND THE INFINITE
RESPONSIBILITY, WE ALL SHARE, TO GUARD,
PROTECT AND REVERE THESE ANCIENT LANDS AND
“THE DECENDANTS OF THE ANCIENTS”
FOSAMAX LAWYER 2nd MILLION HIT COUNTER
YOU ARE NOW AT: http://authordawnnaret.blog.com/
From FROM “BISMILLAH” – BY DAWN NARET
SLIDE SHOW – SCRIPT ART OF “BISMILLAH” WHICH MEANS,
“IN THE NAME OF GOD”,
BY DAWN NARET’, PITTSBURGH, PA 11/08
VISIT MY OTHER BLOG SITES ! !
- “GAMARA – REFLECTIONS”, www.authordawnnaret.blog.com
- “60 YEAR OLD LADY, DAWN NARET’ “, www.dawnnaret.blog.com
- “YINZ NEWS AND MUSE”, www.bydawnnaret.blogspot.com
- “HEY BUDDY, CAN YOU SPARE A LATTE?”, www.sparealatte.blogspot.com
- “DOME SHELTERED DAWN”, www.authordawnnaret.wordpress.com
- “SMOKERS HAVE RIGHTS TOO…SO KISS MY BUTT ! ! “www.sokissmybutt.blogspot.com
- “Stalking criminals on internet” www.stalkingcriminalsoninternet.blogspot.com
- “Sub Atomic Quantum Humor”(www.subatomicquantumhumor.blogspot.com)
- “Chagrinning”(www.chagrinning.blogspot.com)
“We The People”(www.dawnnaret.blogspot.com)
bgSOUND balance=0 src=”http://www.mikesfreegifs.com/main4/midiwav/egypt38756.mid” loop=infinite>
THIS IS “NOT” A STRICTLY “MUSLIM” BLOG SITE….
IT IS AN “ECCUMENICAL”, PEACE PROMOTING
EFFORT TO INTRODUCE, ACKNOWLEDGE, AND GAIN
INSIGHT INTO THE ANCIENT LANDS AND THE
“DECENDANTS OF THE ANCIENTS”,
WHO RESIDE THERE.
IT IS ALSO AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN,
JUST A BIT MORE, ABOUT “ISLAM” AND THE
ANCIENT “DECENDANTS OF ABRAHAM”, WHO LIVE
IN PEACE AND OBEY THE LAWS OF “ALLAH”,
WHICH MEANS “THE” GOD – CAPITAL “G”, THE
SOLE CREATOR OF ALL THE COSMOS, THE SAME
“GOD” THAT IS WORSHIPPED BY THE CHRISTIANS
AND THE JEWS. 
THAT IS THE FIRST AND MOST
IMPORTANT BIT OF INFORMATION, I FELT WAS
IMPORTANT TO SHARE, FOR THOSE WHO WERE
UNAWARE.
“THE DECENDANTS OF THE ANCIENTS”
THEY ARE THE PEOPLE OF THE MIDDLE EAST. MUSLIMS,
CHRISTIANS AND JEWS……
OH MY ! !
LOOK AT THEIR HISTORY AND LEARN TO LOVE THEM AS I DO ! ! 
MOON TROJECTORY WARNING…………………
DISCLAIMER:
ALL ARTICLES, ON THIS SITE ARE THE ORIGINAL
WORK OF SOLE AUTHOR: DAWN NARET’
ANY (HTML) ADDED, THAT EXCEEDS THE USUAL
PROGRAMMING OF “BLOGGER TEMPLATES” IS
REJECTED, BY THE AUTHOR, INCLUDING
CRIMINAL TRESPASS THAT ADDED (HTML)
CO-AUTHOR OR EDITING CREDIT TO AN UNKNOWN HACKER
VIA INITIALS OR NUMBER I.D.
*****************************************************
WARNING:
ALL DAWN NARET BLOG SITES CONTAIN ORIGINAL COMMENTS
AND COMMENTARY, WRITTEN BY THE OWNER, DAWN NARET’
, AND ARE COPYRIGHTED WITH ALL LEGAL OWNERSHIP
ENTITLED TO AN ORIGINAL AUTHOR, FROM THE FIRST
DAY OF PUBLISHING.
YOU ARE WELCOME TO “COPY” (DO NOT CUT).
PERMISSION IS GIVEN TO “COPY”…….
NOT TO CLAIM OWNERSHIP OR ATTEMPT TO SELL ANY OF MY
MATERIAL
COPYING IS PERMITTED
ONLY IF FULL CREDIT IS GIVEN,
IN THE LEGAL AUTHOR’S NAME,
WHEN QUOTING OR PRINTING.
VARIATIONS WILL NOT BE FREE OF
COURT CHARGES OF PLAGIARISM,
FOR THEFT OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, IF THE VARIATION
CONTAINS MORE THAN 1% OF QUOTABLE WRITTEN WORK
OR 1% OF THE CONCEPT PROCESS
IS PARALLELED TO ORIGINAL WORK DONE BY DAWN NARET’.
NO ONE SELLS EXCEPT “ME” AND ONLY IN PERSON – WHERE MY MONEY AT, BOO ??
THE MUSLIMS WOULD LIKE TO SHARE THEIR TEACHING OF “THE LIGHT”, AS GIFTED TO US, IN SURAH (CHAPTER) “AL-NUR” – “THE LIGHT” AND THOUSANDS OF OTHER VERSES IN THE QUR’AN.
AND I PROPOSE A RETURN, TO THE OBSERVANCE OF
“THE FEAST OF THE LIGHT” – “EID AL NUR”
BY ANY WHO HAVE FALLEN INTO A STATE OF “UNKNOWING”
OF THE ANCIENT PRACTICES …………………………………
( *** ORIGINAL COMMENTARY on this and the next 4 cited works of other authors, that were posted, have been stolen.
They included contributions of honorable teachings and humor from the Muslims, the Christians and the Jewish community………….these are demonic thieves who try to block the beauty of all three religious groups.
I will work at replacing as much as possible………INCLUDING MY OWN ORIGINAL VERSION OF THE “CHRISTMAS STORY” AND A SHARED VERSION OF THE STORY OF “CHANUKAH”.
*** THE FIRST ONE IS DONE !- SURAH AL-NUR –
REPLACED 12-05-08 – BY DAWN NARET’! ……….
(ALLAH IS ALSO OUR PROTECTOR AND PRESERVER AGAINST EVIL ! – MORE DISCORSE ON THIS AYYAH (VERSE) IS ALL READY FOR PUBLISHING……….I HAVE MANY REPAIRS FIRST. – DAWN NARET’)
MY ORIGINAL TEXT, WRITTEN WITH THIS, BEGAN:
“THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE CHAPTER (SURAH………………) – I CANNOT REMEMBER VERBATUM, BECAUSE I WROTE IT FROM THE HEART, AS I ALWAYS DUE, WITH NO CRIB NOTES OR DRAFT COPY, I WRITE,FROM THE HEART AND HIT “PUBLISH”.
THEREFORE, I OFTEN DO NOT EVEN GET TO READ IT THROUGH, BEFORE IT IS STOLEN AND CANNOT BE REPLACED, BY ME….IT IS ONLY “RE”-PUBLISHED OR SOLD BY THE THIEVES…….MY BEST WORK ! !
BUT WILL ADD MY OWN COMMENTARY………..AGAIN, ASAP.
“EID AL-NUR” candle (FEAST /FESTIVAL OF THE LIGHT)
Allah, He is the Light of the Heavens and the Earth – Similitude of the Radiance of the Divine Light – Allah guides unto His Light whomsoever He pleases – In which Holy House the Divine Light Burns – The Divine qualities the holy members of the Sacred House posses – Allah provides sustenance to whomsoever He pleases without a measure – The similitude of the disbelievers gone astray
35. اللَّهُ نُورُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالاَرْضِ مَثَلُ نُورِهِ كَمِشْكَاةٍ فِيهَا مِصْبَاحٌ الْمِصْبَاحُ فِي زُجَاجَةٍ الزُّجَاجَةُ كَاَنَّهَا كَوْكَبٌ دُرِّيٌّ ٌّيُوقَدُ مِن شَجَرَةٍ مُبَارَكَةٍ زَيْتُونَةٍ لاَّ شَرْقِيّـِةٍ وَلاَ غَرْبِيَّةٍ يَكَادُ زَيْتُهَا يُضِيءُ وَلَوْ لَمْ تَمْسَسْهُ نَارٌ نُّورٌ عَلَي نُورٍ يَهْدِي اللَّهُ لِنُورِهِ مَن يَشَآءُ وَيَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الاَمْثَالَ لِلنَّاسِ وَاللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ 35.
“Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth.
The similitude of His light is as a niche wherein is a lamp. The lamp is in a glass 
.
The glass is as it were a glittering star, 
lit from a blessed olive-tree 
, neither of the East nor of the West, whose oil would almost glow forth (of itself) though no fire touched it.
Light upon light 
, Allah guides unto His Light whom He pleases, and Allah sets forth similitudes for mankind, and Allah is All-Aware of all things.” – (END QUOTE FROM AL-NUR – QURAN)
- FROM: Dawn Naret :
THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE SURAH (CHAPTER) AL-NUR, OF THE HOLY QUAR’AN.
(THE ORIGINAL OF THIS COMMENTARY HAS BEEN STOLEN , I CAN NEVER REPEAT A “SPIRITUAL” WRITING VERBATUM, SO I AM WRITING….AGAIN “IN THE SPIRIT” TO REACH THE WISDOM OF YOUR SOUL.)
CAN YOU SEE THE “SIMILTUDE”?
WE HAVE 3 MAJOR RELIGIONS….ALL CELEBRATING “DIFFERENT” EVENTS IN THE PRACTICING OF THEIR FAITH IN THE “SAME” GOD……..ARE THEY ACTUALLY AS “DIFFERENT” AS THEY BELIEVE ? THEY ARE MORE IN “SIMILTUDE”, AS A “HOLY TRINITY” .
THEY ARE ALL REMEMBERING AND OBSERVING, WITH OBEDIANCE, THE HISTORY AND THE TEACHINGS OF THE ANCIENT PROPHETS OF OUR ONE GOD…………….
(WHAT FOLLOWS, FROM HERE DOWN, IS SCRAPS OF MY ORIGINAL COMMENTARY, SALVAGED FROM 4-5 REPEATED ATTACKS AND THEFT AT THIS SITE – I MUST REORGANIZE AND REPAIR IT DAILY MYSELF, BUT I WILL RISE ABOVE THEIR EVIL…..WITH THE TRUTH ! ! – DAWN NARET’.)
****************************************
STILL MISSING: “THE STORY OF CHANUKAH” – TO BE REPLACED
****************************************
JEWISH HUMOR FROM: www.uselessgraphics.com
“ZEN JUDAISM”
12-06-08 THE SCRIPT ABOVE WAS POSTED AND PUBLISHED AND THEN IMMEDIATELY REMOVED BY THE THIEVES THAT WRITE IN HTML, WITH A COMMAND TO NOT SCROLL FAR ENOUGH TO VIEW IT, OR ERASE IT COMPLETELY ! THE HTML SIGNATURE IS OF “SQUIRREL HILL LIBRARY, PITTSBURGH, PA, SQUIRREL HILL BRANCH “LOCAL” EDITING DEPT. – THIS IS ILLEGAL CENSORSHIP AND TRESSPASS! I MUST NOW ATTEMPT TO “RE”-PUBLISH IT – DAWN NARET’
JEWISH HUMOR FROM: www.uselessgraphics.com
“ZEN JUDAISM”
Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, though your blood and flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate and not stir until you have attained full Enlightenment. But first, a little nosh.
Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or life without problems. What would you talk about?
The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish?
In nature, there is no good or bad, better or worse. The wind may blow or not. The flowering branch grows long or short. Do not judge or prefer. Ask only, Is it good for the Jews?”
To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
“THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHRISTMAS AND CHANUKAH”
If anyone asks you what the difference is between Christmas and Chanukah, you will know what and how to answer!
1. Christmas is one day, same day every year, December 25. Jews also love December 25th. It’s another paid day off work. We go to movies and out for Chinese food and Israeli dancing. Chanukah is 8 days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever sure.
Jews never know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to consult a calendar so we don’t look like idiots. We all have the same calendar, provided free with a donation from the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher, or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel(especially in Florida ) or other Jewish funeral home.
2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor holiday with the same theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat..
3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, stereos….Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, or the collected works of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.
4. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukkah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah, etc.
5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.
6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis.
7. Christmas carols are beautiful…Silent Night, Come All Ye Faithful…. Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having a party and dancing the hora. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal brethren. And don’t Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?
8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in festive moods. A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and onions. The home, as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.
9. Women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkas on Chanukah. Another reminder of our suffering through the ages.
10. Parents deliver to their children during Christmas. Jewish parents have no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight nights.
11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names such as Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or pronounce it. On the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they believe we are wonderfully versed in our history.
12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews think, “Joseph, you shmuck, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn’t sleep with her, and now you want to blame G-d. Here’s the number of my shrink”.
13. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more commercialized. The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor holiday. It makes sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur? Forget about celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve yourself for 27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest, confess your sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets a mere $200 per person.
Better stick with Chanukah !
************************************************************
STILL MISSING: MY ORIGINAL RENDITION OF THE “CHRISTMAS STORY” – TO BE RETOLD ASAP AD LIB, BY DAWN NARET’
***********************************************************
“CHRISTIAN SCHOOL TEST”
(I FOUND THIS ON THE WEB, BUT NEGLECTED TO FIND AND SAVE THE SOURSE…I WILL LOOK FOT IT AND CREDIT THEM. – DAWN NARET’)
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU’LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS!
IT COMES FROM A “CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST”. 
KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED NOR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. ! SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRACLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVID’S SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRACLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. HE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
saved gifs: LIKE A PHOENIX RISING………
……….
UNSTOPABLE! !
**
>
>
>
THIS IS “NOT” A STRICTLY “MUSLIM” BLOG SITE….
IT IS AN “ECCUMENICAL”, PEACE PROMOTING
EFFORT TO INTRODUCE, ACKNOWLEDGE, AND GAIN
INSIGHT INTO THE ANCIENT LANDS AND THE
“DECENDANTS OF THE ANCIENTS”,
WHO RESIDE THERE.
IT IS ALSO AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN,
JUST A BIT MORE, ABOUT “ISLAM” AND THE
ANCIENT “DECENDANTS OF ABRAHAM”, WHO LIVE
IN PEACE AND OBEY THE LAWS OF “ALLAH”,
WHICH MEANS “THE” GOD – CAPITAL “G”, THE
SOLE CREATOR OF ALL THE COSMOS, THE SAME
“GOD” THAT IS WORSHIPPED BY THE CHRISTIANS
AND THE JEWS. THAT IS THE FIRST AND MOST
IMPORTANT BIT OF INFORMATION, I FELT WAS
IMPORTANT TO SHARE, FOR THOSE WHO WERE
UNAWARE.
“THE DECENDANTS OF THE ANCIENTS”
THEY ARE THE PEOPLE OF THE MIDDLE EAST. MUSLIMS, CHRISTIANS AND JEWS……
OH MY ! !
LOOK AT THEIR HISTORY AND LEARN TO LOVE THEM AS I DO ! !
MOON TROJECTORY WARNING…………………
DISCLAIMER:
ALL ARTICLES, ON THIS SITE ARE THE ORIGINAL
WORK OF SOLE AUTHOR: DAWN NARET’
ANY (HTML) ADDED, THAT EXCEEDS THE USUAL
PROGRAMMING OF “BLOGGER TEMPLATES” IS
REJECTED, BY THE AUTHOR, INCLUDING
CRIMINAL TRESPASS THAT ADDED (HTML)
CO-AUTHOR OR EDITING CREDIT TO AN UNKNOWN HACKER
VIA INITIALS OR NUMBER I.D.
*****************************************************
WARNING:
ALL DAWN NARET BLOG SITES CONTAIN ORIGINAL COMMENTS
AND COMMENTARY, WRITTEN BY THE OWNER, DAWN NARET’
, AND ARE COPYRIGHTED WITH ALL LEGAL OWNERSHIP
ENTITLED TO AN ORIGINAL AUTHOR, FROM THE FIRST
DAY OF PUBLISHING.
YOU ARE WELCOME TO “COPY” (DO NOT CUT).
PERMISSION IS GIVEN TO “COPY”…….
NOT TO CLAIM OWNERSHIP OR ATTEMPT TO SELL ANY OF MY
MATERIAL
COPYING IS PERMITTED
ONLY IF FULL CREDIT IS GIVEN,
IN THE LEGAL AUTHOR’S NAME,
WHEN QUOTING OR PRINTING.
VARIATIONS WILL NOT BE FREE OF
COURT CHARGES OF PLAGIARISM,
FOR THEFT OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, IF THE VARIATION
CONTAINS MORE THAN 1% OF QUOTABLE WRITTEN WORK
OR 1% OF THE CONCEPT PROCESS
IS PARALLELED TO ORIGINAL WORK DONE BY DAWN NARET’.
WHERE MY MONEY AT, BOO ??
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